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Asking for Help With Pain

Nov 21, 2017

It can be challenging for individuals with chronic conditions to find the balance when asking for help. Many people have experienced barriers with everyday household activities and responsibilities as well as occasions of cancelling plans due to pain. It is common for individuals to feel like they will upset their support system by asking for help.  This leads many people to keep their needs to themselves. It can be easy to think that other people will automatically know what you need, and frustrations can result when they don’t get it.

Even though it may feel this way, keep in mind that we don’t know what other people are thinking.  Other people cannot read your mind to know what you need. It is appropriate to ask for help, and doing so builds self-respect. Use this idea as motivation to prepare and reach out

• Start by identifying your different support needs. This includes emotional and physical needs.
• The clearer and more specific you are, the better.
• Communicate with your supports ahead of time. Ask them what kind of help they are willing to offer. For some, it may be help with chores like carrying laundry. For others, it may be help with getting to appointments or providing emotional support during challenging times.
• Make sure to reinforce others for jumping in.

It may feel challenging in the moment to follow up and ask for help. Remember that your supports have shared with you what they feel comfortable with, and to trust their word and intention with what they offered. Use mindfulness to work on balancing the acceptance of help from others with the things you can do independently to enhance your quality of life.