5 DBT Skills to Enjoy the Holidays

Posted November 18, 2015

Finding yourself or your clients stressed out and dreading the holidays? While many struggle through the holidays, that doesn’t mean we are powerless to use our skills. Building on our 5 skills to survive the holidays blog, we offer 5 more skills to actually enjoy the season. Here they are:

1. Build Positive Experience (BPE):
BPE starts with being mindful of positive events that are happening all around us. Often we miss opportunities for fun or connection because we are lost in our problems and worries. Time to awaken and take advantage of positives that are possible now. Listen to favorite holiday music, watch time-honored movies, and commit yourself to investing in the season. Make sure to schedule times to get out and about to get-togethers, community functions, services, and other events that pop up during the season. BPE takes investment, planning, follow-through, and sometimes a dose of opposite-to-emotion too!

2. Attend to Relationships (A2R):
A2R is a specialized type of BPE. Relationships are like plants in that they need to be watered or they wither. The holidays are the perfect time to send cards, pictures, or to write a meaningful note or letter. Connect by phone, Skype, or in person if possible. Take extra time to let others know that they matter to you.

3. Contributing:
Surprise a friend, loved one, or co-workers with cookies or another treat. Participate in parties and events in whatever way you can…even your presence is contributing. If you are able, consider volunteering your time with any organization that helps those less fortunate, or take time to set aside and donate items you no longer need. Support an organization like Toys for Tots or volunteer to be a Salvation Army bell ringer. Whenever you can, think about how you can give, which is a true meaning of the season.

4. Self-Soothe:
Get into your senses. The holidays are filled with sights, sounds, smells, and tastes that are pleasing to our senses. Connect mindfully to these moments, and allow yourself to relax into what the holidays have to offer.

5. Participate:
Participate is a core mindfulness skill, and it means fully immersing yourself in what you are doing in the moment. Truly inhabit each experience with your full self, gently letting go of distractions to get back to being with what you are doing and who you are with during this season. Remember that we can participate in stress and misery, or in the many opportunities for joy that the season can offer us.